Do you remember the first time you were aware of being judged? I’m willing to bet you do. It was the first time you felt disappointment, anger, or embarrassment, amongst other harmful feelings. These feelings made you think before you acted, made you think of your past experiences so you don’t repeat, in your perspective, “failure.” It’s all kinetic. This “failure” developed your energy of lack. Words or sayings like “can’t,” “not good enough,” “wish,” became part of your MO. Most importantly your creative energy became stunted. Now you’re sitting idly addicted to judgment.
You are stuck in the past. But you can unglue yourself from former times and live here, now, in this moment without fear of judgment from others, or worse, yourself. In this passage you will learn:
- To protect your feelings and desires by creating compassionate boundaries.
- How your energy of lack and self-judgment directly perceives how others view you.
- How turning this energy of lack into an energy of faith lets others believe in you without resistance.
I remember when my Pandora’s box of judgment was opened. In second grade, there was a “Hat Day” at school. All the kids would come to class sporting their favorite hat or creating their own hat. A day to be full of creativity. A day to have spirit. Most kids brought a sombrero, dressed up in their own creative way; sparkles, glitter, colored glue, and paint, etc. others wore their favorite baseball team’s cap. I, of course, wanted my own unique version. A hybrid. I didn’t own many caps, so I “stole” my little brother’s caps. We liked the same teams. He had plenty of hats to spare. I took around 9 hats and placed them one on top of the other but each hat faced in its own cardinal direction forming a 360-degree circle, like the whole lid of a sombrero. I loved it. Gleaming, smiling ear to ear, proud of my creative endeavor, I wore it proudly…until one classmate said “That looks stupid.” Despondent, embarrassed, I took the hats off and stuffed them in my bag, never to be worn again.
It may have looked stupid. I probably did look silly. But it was my stupid and silliness that I chose. When I came up with the “cap sombrero,” I didn’t care nor think about what others would think of my hat project. I went out and did it without question. My creative manifesting power was in full force but one comment sent my faith plowing to the ground. My faith was put out of alignment.
Disappointment, resentment, embarrassment, are all the feelings I felt. The next spirit day of school I thought twice of what creative idea I would come up with and at times, didn’t take part at all. I became addicted to judgment and let the past take control of my life.
Today, I no longer allow judgment or the past dominant my life. I let my energy of faith, my belief, take over. Let me tell you, life is way more refreshing on this side of the fence.
Today’s world makes it difficult not to get stuck in the past. Instagram, Facebook, Linkedin, amongst other platforms that are 24/7 where you can compare, feel judged, or mirror your feelings. The judgment that hurts the most is the resistance, or lack of faith, from your son or daughter, siblings, other half, and don’t get me started on your parents. How can you combat the challenges from the ones who you love most dearly? By creating loving boundaries.
When asked about your desires or dreams, simply state something like “I’m presently developing this idea and I care deeply about it, so I’m not going to share it until it’s fully developed.” This is creating a boundary lovingly. You may even ask to simply not talk about a certain topic before it comes up because of how it makes you feel. “Please, don’t ask about my novel. The thought triggers disappointing feelings. Let’s talk about something else.” This simple but loving boundary allows the person to understand you and your mode, and, will respect you more with this valuable communication.
Whatever your desire is, starting your own business, or expanding your business, or learning Spanish, or writing a novel, you must protect it. Loved ones will challenge your ideas and intuition and you may retract into your own turtle shell, throwing your desire off alignment. You must not allow this to happen. You must respect yourself, putting your feelings first and creating loving boundaries with those who resist them.
“You should be…” or “You should be doing this…” Heard that before? Most likely from your parents. Doubt creeps into your mind, second-guessing yourself and before you know it, your idea, your desire has moved on leaving you behind…stuck in the past. But when you create loving boundaries others will receive you and respect your desires and you will be able to protect your dreams while staying aligned with yourself.
But why do loved ones resist your dreams in the first place? Why do close friends and family challenge your career path, dreams, and desires? Is the Universe telling you something? The Universe is a reflection of your own thoughts and beliefs, therefore, it’s not your friends and family that don’t believe in you simply for the sake to not believe in you. They don’t believe in you, because you don’t believe in you.
The Universe’s mirror is the greatest spiritual teacher of them all. Your position of lack and disbelief is mirrored back to you from the Universe, people surrounding you, and loved ones. They are sending back the energy you’re putting out. You’re judging yourself and others are reflecting it back to you.
Here’s a fun game. Take a topic you know nothing about. Pick it up from the newspaper or TV, anywhere. As I’m writing this I looked at the New York Times and saw “Waxed Palm Trees.” It was the first thing I saw. I know nothing of this subject. Now talk to a friend, colleague, loved one about it. Present the subject as if you are an expert on “Waxed Palm Trees.” Makeup facts, say outrageous statements like “They’re called Wax Palm Trees because that is where the world gets 95% of its wax for candles and surfboards.” Anything that comes to mind for 30 seconds, a minute.
Do a TED talk. Not literally, but you get the point. Be completely confident in every word you say, remember: You’re an expert on this subject, as a matter of fact, your’re the #1 expert in the world on this subject. That friend you’re speaking to could even know something about “Wax Palm Trees,” but they will believe every word that you say, because your desire, conviction, will have them in doubt of their own beliefs. That is the power of faith. For even more fun, pick another topic, now be the complete opposite of the #1 expert, doubt yourself as you speak your 30-second speech about this topic. Your colleague will not only say you’re full of it but will reflect your own doubts back to you.
The energy of lack is felt miles away by others. Permeates the rooms you walk in and discourages others to believe in you. When you have an energy of faith, abundance, and believe in your desires, others will too. Even if others still don’t fully believe in you, this shift of energy to faith will tone down their judgments of you. Why? Your strength in faith has them doubting their own judgment.
One slogan I read that I enjoy, “Our vibes attract our tribes.” So, if you meet or experience resistance, don’t fight them, thank them. Thank them for showing you an opportunity to grow and heal.
The struggle is real. Enjoy your moment. Right here. Be determined to live your moment. When you find resistance, reflect on yourself and your energy and create loving boundaries to protect your desires. You can do it. I know you can because I believe in you.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this. If you like this post and want to read more of manifesting your practice sign up to my email list to get notifications of new posts and programs.